Sleazy Kid: You know, I may have heard something about a party? Can't recall, but maybe. Kelso: So that averages out to 1.5 beers per person, which means we can invite 112 people, and that’s 224 bucks. Hyde: Yeah, and the freshman, he's gonna drink a half. A keg is equivalent to seven cases that’s 168 beers. The Keg Eric: Yeah, we'll throw a party, charge two bucks a head. Ricky: Where do you see yourself in five years? Eric: Fatso Burger. Ricky: Name something about yourself that you consider to be a weakness. Eric's Burger Job Ricky: Tell me, what do you consider your best quality? Eric: Well, I'm a real people person. Where do you even get that stuff? Hyde: Are you kidding? "Michael, call me at 8:00!" Eric: "Michael, do your Chico impression!" Fez: "Michael, rub oil on my thighs while I spank you!". What about Kelso? I mean, Jackie has him totally whipped.
Wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss! Eric: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hyde: Kelso! KELSO! Would you stop that?. Kelso: Wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss, wuss. Unless Donna happens to be.you know.a girl! Kelso: Especially a girl you love! Fez: You know, in my country, if a woman beats you it makes her want you. What? Is that a big deal? Hyde: Of course not. Kelso: Donna beat you in basketball? Fez: Is this true, Eric? Eric: Yeah. He's just going to be this pathetic guy.with breasts the size of watermelons!. Kelso: Geez, if 's like this now, he's going to be a total headcase when they shut down the plant. Things that don't need fixing! Things I need, things I use, things I love. You know, ever since the plant cut back his hours, he's spent all his time fixing things. Eric, did your father come down here? Eric: Yeah, he's fixing the dryer. the walls of Jericho, which as we all know came tumbling down, right?!. The issue is, "Are they bigger than Barbara's?" Because Barbara's are bigger than. In a tube top! Hyde: Look, the issue isn't, "Are Pam's big?" Right. Kelso: Have you seen Pam in a tube top? It's like looking into the Grand Tetons. Exodus and Deuteronomy, both of which have taught us very valuable lessons. Pam Macey! Now she's got some knockers, baby! Hyde: True, but they're not bigger than Barbara's. Kelso: So? Hyde: Do you find that annoying? Kelso. Why can't you date someone a little less annoying? Kelso: Like who? Eric: What about Barbara Vanson? Kelso: Nah, she's just as annoying as Jackie. Red: Hey Gerry, here's my question: How the hell could you pardon Nixon? Battle of the Sexists Eric: Hey Kelso, quick question. Use that line when you're up for Miss America. Red: Eric, we're waiting! Eric: Uh, well, I believe that everyone's political opinion is valid and worth hearing. Now, are you gonna vote for the guy that let that happen? Kitty: Red, President Ford didn't take your job, he took Nixon's. Streaking Red: Eric, say that your job was sent to a plant in Guatela-who-the-hell cares. Red: Eric, for God's sakes, that's no language for a woman to hear! Laurie: It's okay Red, I know what a fallopian tube is. Kitty: Oh, she was such a nice girl, how does that happen? Eric: Well, first the egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus where it attaches to the wall. Red: So, how's your friend Janice? Laurie: Pregnant. Hyde: She's not a goddess, she's more the earth mother whore type, which works for me. Fez: Who is the goddess? Kelso: The goddess is Eric's sister. Jackie: What did we exchange for him? Eric's Birthday Fez: Holy Mother! Kelso: Hello Laurie. įez: I may not say this right because I am new to English, but she has tremendous breasts, yes? Jackie: Michael, who is this guy? Kelso: Oh, that's Fez. Eric Forman: What's wrong with your dad's hair? Donna Pinciotti: Just don't look at it. Donna Pinciotti: And above all, don't get sucked into my dad's hair. Michael Kelso: Don't worry about it! Just remain calm, keep moving. Eric Forman: If my dad catches me copping beers, he'll kill me! Steven Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk. In ten minutes, there will be no more beer opportunities. Michael Kelso: Your house! Steven Hyde: Listen to them up there. Eric Forman: Why don't you do it? Steven Hyde: It's your house. That '70s Pilot Steven Hyde: Eric, it is time.